Peace Family,
Here’s the Rundown: Google publishes the warning signs of a bad SEO pitch itself, and the FTC already won a case against a scheme built on them. Four tells, one true story, and the questions that protect you. None of it requires knowing anything technical.
The four tells, straight from Google
Google’s own hiring guidance names them [1]:
- A guaranteed #1 ranking. Google says plainly that no one can promise it, and if a vendor does, “find someone else.”
- A claimed special relationship with Google. There is no back door. Google never accepts money to rank a site, and buying ads doesn’t move regular results.
- Secrecy about what they’ll actually do. You’re responsible for whoever you hire, and if they put deceptive content on your site, Google can remove the whole site.
- They found you out of nowhere. Google says to treat unsolicited SEO email like a “burn fat at night” pill.
Three smaller tells from the same page: you should never have to put a link to them on your own site, an audit needs read-only access to your accounts, and a good SEO asks what makes your business different. Read-only means they can look at your numbers without changing anything. No curiosity means a template.
The scam that already happened
This isn’t hypothetical. The FTC charged an operation that robocalled small business owners while posing as Google [2]. The callers said the owner’s listing would be marked “permanently closed” unless they paid $300 to $700 to “claim and verify” it. You can do that yourself, free, in about ten minutes. Then came the upsell: guaranteed top placement for $949.99 plus a monthly fee.
A federal judge found the operators liable on every count, ordered about $3.4 million in judgments, and banned them from selling search services for life, after more than 74 million robocalls [3]. The FTC later mailed over $700,000 back to the owners who paid [4].
The 2026 version wears an AI costume. If someone charges you for a special AI file, for “rewriting your pages for AI,” or for buying mentions around the web, Google’s own documentation says none of it is needed [5]. The FTC is enforcing here too: there is no AI exemption from existing law [6].
The questions that protect you
- Which St. Louis businesses have you helped, and for which searches? Then check.
- Will you show me every change you make, and the reason for it?
- What do you expect to happen, and when? A timeframe is honest. A guarantee is a tell.
- Who owns the website, the listing, and the numbers if we stop working together? If the answer is anything but you, walk.
Already been taken? Missouri’s Attorney General takes complaints at ago.mo.gov or 800-392-8222, and the FTC at reportfraud.ftc.gov or 1-877-FTC-HELP [1].
And the honest close: a red-flags post written by someone selling SEO is worth exactly as much as it’s willing to be used against its author. So use it, on me or on anyone. The Google Business Profile checklist is the free work I’d want you to know first, whoever you hire.
Sources
- developers.google.com · Google’s “Do you need an SEO?”: the guarantee, special-relationship, secrecy, and cold-pitch warnings; read-only audit access; the FTC as the reporting channel
- ftc.gov · FTC charges, 2018: robocallers posing as Google, $300 to $700 “claim and verify” fees
- ftc.gov · judgment, 2019: liable on every count, about $3.4 million, lifetime ban, more than 74 million robocalls
- ftc.gov · refunds, 2020: more than $700,000 returned to defrauded owners
- developers.google.com · Google’s AI-guide myth list: no special AI files, chunking, AI rewrites, or bought mentions needed
- ftc.gov · Operation AI Comply: no AI exemption from existing law